This morning, I literally could not drag myself out of bed for the life of me. Even with taking two days of rest and eating better than substantially all weekend, I still woke up starving and physically exhausted. On top of everything, we didn't have any food in our house like milk or fruit, making breakfast a challenge. I scrounged around the cupboard and found a lone protein bar that I smeared with some peanut butter, and added a banana and the tail end of the dried fruit in the pantry. I also have been filling up a large, 46 ounce V8 bottle with water and mixing in two packets of Propel to keep me hydrated throughout the day with out drinking pop. My mom also made a good point that I might be so tired because I'm not getting all that caffeine from drinking diet coke, and my body isn't used to the change yet.
7:30 am- Breakfast
Zone Perfect Bar (Mocha flavored, which was really delicious, especially with the peanut butter.)
Table spoon of peanut butter
Almost brown banana (It wasn't the most appetizing thing I had ever seen, but I wanted fruit and it was slim pickings)
Last few bites of Sunsweet dried berries and cherries
46 fluid ounces water mixed with 2 Propel powder packets
9:15 am- Simply Step Class at Urban Active
The first thing I will say about my experience in Simply Step: the name is exceptionally deceiving. There was nothing simple about this class, especially as a first timer. I walked in the studio and picked out my platform, as well as two risers for each side (four total). Then, the teacher turned to the class and said "Does anybody want to do double step today?" I didn't even know what regular step was. I had no desire to learn about double step. But I was outnumbered by my obviously veteran classmates-- so double step it was. Basically, we had to get another platform identical to the one we already had, and place in parallel to our original step. We were to leave enough space in the middle so that we could move comfortably. It looked like giant train tracks. The music started and we began marching and moving on the floor. It all seemed very doable--I felt powerful, knowledgeable and in control. Again I say, this class is deceiving. The minute we stepped up to the platforms, I started to struggle. For me, the frustrating thing was that I knew I could do the moves that the rest of the class was doing. I just didn't know how. Everything was very fast. It was all about learning on the fly. The instructor was very high energy, short, and very strong. She called things out and spoke clearly, just the words "step over squat" and "v step" meant nothing to me. I had to watch her and try to pick up the move while everyone else already knew what to do. The most frustrating thing was the fact that just as I would get it, she would move on. I hate being frustrated when I exercise. I also hate feeling weak or out done by the person standing next to me. All of these feelings were experienced during today's class. I will say that Simply Step was a beyond awesome work out. I left the class dripping in sweat with my thighs and calves burning, and I was actually short of breath. I just hope that next time, I am able to pick up the steps quicker and avoid frustration for a more successful workout.
10:15 am- Pilates
I was seriously considering just up and leaving after the step class. I was exhausted and didn't know if my attention span would be hold up for another hour of group exercise. But when the lights went off and the calming music started playing, I decided it might be a good way to lessen my stress about the previous class. Pilates is unique in the sense that its a very stationary form of exercise. For me, who likes to move and jump around and be very active so that I know I am engaging my body, it's a whole new world. But do not be fooled by the lack of movement- it is also a very good workout that really engages the core. We began with some weighted squats and stretches, and I felt like my legs would break off. The two classes in a row seemed like a great idea last night, but living them today was tough. My favorite things we did in class today were these giant leg circles that really opened up my hips and hip flexers, which generally give me some trouble, especially during preseason for soccer. Basically, we laid on our backs, and began with one leg bent and at rest while the other was straight up in the air forming a 90 degree angle to the floor. We made tiny circles on the ceiling with our raised legs, then, we gradually made them bigger. As we did this, we extended our bent leg until it was flat on the floor and we were making full, enormous circles with our raised legs. It engaged the abs because we had to stay balanced as well as be able to rotate the leg in a slow, controlled manner. At the end of the class, during the ab work, there were several moments where I just wanted to leave. Mentally, I was checked out, and it frustrated me that some of the exercises were a huge challenge. Again, I like to be the best, and for everything to seem effortless as though I've been doing it my entire life.
I think that the classes today were beginning to teach me that I need to accept the fact that I can't be good at every athletic endeavor I undertake. I can't give up or get frustrated and therefore incapacitated when there is an area that needs improvement.
12:00 pm Lunch
I was on the fly to my final fibula check up, so I had to eat quickly as I was running out the door. Therefore it wasn't the most well rounded of meals, but I made up for it later in the day.
Can Campbell's Broccoli Chicken and Cheese Soup
Small bunch of red grapes
12:30 pm X Ray at The Cleveland Clinic, Solon Branch
I love the Solon Branch of the Cleveland Clinic because it is so quick and easy to get through. In my experience, they are always running right on time and the doctors come in quickly and get you in and out of there. I walked in to radiology and within minutes i was sitting on a table with a giant machine hovering over my four inch scar on my right calf. The woman was extremely friendly and asked me if I had done this before. I chuckled and said about 50 times. The injury had been going on since late August. She asked if I was an athlete and I said I broke it playing soccer. I was the captain and it ruined my senior season. I went on to tell her how it had a similar affect on my senior basketball season. Oh what a great year of athletics! She really felt for me and started talking about her kids and how they are soccer players and how much they love it. Her son was a goalie in 8th grade, and he had his heart set on becoming the varsity goalie as a freshman. He sounded just like me at that age.
That talk really made me miss the sport of soccer. It's difficult to describe. There are aspects of my high school soccer experience that I will never miss. The preseason and conditioning were major drags. And the time commitment was awful. But I'll never forget, or truly be able to describe, the feeling of making a killer save and hearing that reaction from the crowd as I rose to my feet, with the robbed goal sitting cockily on my hip. I'll never forget going undefeated my junior year, going un-scored upon for our first 13 games, or that crazy sense of a common goal amongst my teammates both my junior and senior years--We could win states! But I'll also never forget a very tough playoff loss to Laurel my junior season, which I largely blame myself for, and then having to watch from the sidelines as my team battled it out with Hathaway Brown (who went on to win the state title) until they scored a goal with 7 minutes left to win the game 1-0. I'll never stop wondering if I would have saved the shot. Or if the entire course of the season would have changed had I been in the net. Soccer means a lot to me. As much as I try to deny it, and act like I want to be done with sports forever, it's really a large front. I miss it with all my heart. And a large part of me wishes I was playing in college next year. But you have to play with the cards you are dealt, and for one reason or another, I was dealt a broken fibula. Everything happens for a reason I guess.
1:00 pm- Look at the X Rays with Dr. Goodwin
Doctor Ryan Goodwin has really been my saving grace with this injury. We found him late in the game, after going through three doctors and being unsatisfied with the results. Not to say that it was these doctors' faults that I didn't recover. It was more about them not being able to figure out what was wrong with me and why it wasn't healing. Doctor Goodwin knew right away-- I needed compression. So he did the surgery and was done with it. I was seriously considering not even getting the surgery and living with the pain, but he talked me out of that notion, and I couldn't be happier he did. He is super friendly, and talks to me realistically on a level that I can understand. I honestly can't say enough good about him. When I got my cast on, I was in tears because I was convinced I'd be on crutches for prom. He looked me in the eyes and swore up and down I'd be out of that cast and would be able to dance to my little heart's desire. I didn't fully believe him at the time, but he stuck to his word like glue, and I went to prom in heels and a beautiful dress that I loved. Today, I brought him pictures from prom to show him how happy I was. We sat on the bench in the check-up room and looked through them as if he was my uncle at a family party. At the end of the meeting he told me I was completely clear to do whatever I wanted--even ball sports. Maybe this week I'll head out to the soccer field with my little brother and have him shoot on me. Overall, it was a fantastic appointment.
3:30 pm- Snack
Today for snack I was very tempted by some cheese puffs in my cupboard. I even got the bag and a bowl out and was ready to pour. But right as I did so I looked at the back of the back: 160 calories. And this snack would probably hold me over for all of 30 minutes. What else could I have for 160 calories? How about a slice of whole grain toast with melted American cheese broiled until it was golden brown on top and delicious? The nice thing about that choice was it was all real. No artificial ingredients. I knew where everything I ate came from. With that I also had a yogurt with a little bit of Special K on top, as well as a couple mini pieces of chocolate for my junk food fix.
Slice Whole Grain Toast
Slice Velveeta American Cheese
Yoplait Light Yogurt
1/2 serving Special K
1 mini Butter Finger Crip
1 mini Cookies n' Cream Easter Egg
Now, all of that might sound like a lot. But I did a lot of physical activity and didn't have a lot for lunch. Also, I was going on to yet another training session. My body needed recharging. And I accomplished this is such a way that I stayed satisfied, got my fix for junk food, and also ate very healthfully and consciously.
4:45 pm- Training With Ann Marie at Anytime Fitness
As I have said all along, Ann Marie and I get along fantastically. I really respect her opinion and knowledge about health and wellness. Today I came in and we immediately jumped into conversation about how exhausted I was from my morning. She said we would take it easy today, and I asked to do some upper body work. So we spent the day going from machine to machine at anytime learning how they worked, how much weight to put on, and alternate exercises that worked the same muscle groups as the machine did. One thing that Ann Marie said today that I loved was about not training to failure because she doesn't believe in over training. In my old days of rigidity, I would have insisted on working til failure, concentrating on the same muscle groups every day to make sure they looked how I wanted them to. With Ann Marie, I am learning all about balance. Some days we do yoga and abs and work on the "magic ball" as I so affectionately call it. Other days, we work on arms and chest. Sometimes, we just sit down and talk about things related to health and wellness, like last week with the diet pop discussion. When I do exercises for her, I always feel that I am working, but it is never to the point where I lose control because I am working so hard, or want to cry out from the pain of finishing an exercise. It is nice to take a relaxed approach to fitness. Everything does not need to be insanely intense to be effective.
6:30 pm- Dinner Isn't Ready, and I'm Hungry Again
After finishing putting away all the groceries my mom brought home, my stomach began to rumble. Dinner was no where near done and I needed something to hold me over. By the way, the hunger at 6:30 proves my seemingly large snack was actually the perfect size for what my body needed right then. My mom had brought home fresh tomato salsa, as well as other things, including some delicious looking peanut butter Treasures.
1/2 serving baked tortilla chips
Fresh tomato salsa
1 peanut butter flavored Treasure
8:40 pm- Dinner
Dinner was certainly worth waiting for. It was extremely fresh and delicious. We had:
Bow tie noodles with tomatoes, asparagus, broccoli, and mushrooms
Parmesan cheese
Fresh artisan bread with melted cheese and garlic
After I finished my dinner, I tried to move directly on to dessert (We got new flavors of ice cream. I couldn't resist.) but my dad gave me a stern tongue lashing. I needed to sit and enjoy dinner conversation with my family. Not just snarf and leave. I rarely eat dinner with my family because they eat so late and it never works with my schedule. So it was nice to sit down and take the opportunity to talk to my dad about his walk and my brother about how he is shadowing at Hawken tomorrow. After my dad finished, I went and moved in for the kill on the Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream. It was delicious, soft, and creamy. I have decided I like slow churned ice cream or else frozen yogurt as opposed to the taste of real ice cream. There is a distinct difference and at least in my opinion, the healthier choices taste much better in this case. What an added bonus!
Reading Material
This week, the book I am reading is called The Secret. It is a type of self help book all about changing your mind and the kind of signals you send out into the universe. I have read it before and am re-reading it for this project to recall tips and methods for reaching happiness. This book offers a secret that, if followed correctly, claims to bring to you anything you want. At first, I was very, very skeptical. But right at the beginning, the book has the reader make a list of things that they want in their lives, no matter how crazy or irrational. One of the top things that I wrote down was getting into the interior design program at the University of Cincinnati. Everyone told me there was absolutely no way it could be done--it was impossible because of my grades and how selective they are. The program is number one in the country. But I was desperate and dead set on it. And I applied the laws of The Secret. Sure enough, I got in. It has also worked with many other aspects of my life, and I am a big believer in its effectiveness. It might sound a little bit crazy, but here I offer the no-nonsense guide to this book. But first, to explain better, the official website of The Secret, http://www.thesecret.tv/, says this about what has grown into an insanely popular and widely believed phenomenon,
"The Secret reveals the most powerful law in the universe. The knowledge of this law has run like a golden thread through the lives and the teachings of all the prophets, seers, sages and saviors in the world's history, and through the lives of all truly great men and women. All that they have ever accomplished or attained has been done in full accordance with this most powerful law.
Without exception, every human being has the ability to transform any weakness or suffering into strength, power, perfect peace, health, and abundance.
Rhonda Byrne's discovery of The Secret began with a glimpse of the truth through a 100 year old book. She went back through centuries, tracing and uncovering a common truth that lay at the core of the most powerful philosophies, teachings and religions in the world.
What Rhonda discovered is now captured in The Secret, a film that has been viewed by millions around the world. The Secret has also been released as an audio-book and printed book with more than 16 million copies in print in over 40 languages.
The Secret reveals the natural law that is governing all lives. By applying the knowledge of this law, you can change every aspect of your life.
This is the secret to prosperity, health, relationships and happiness. This is the secret to life."
Now I will say that the language is a little inflated here. They could simply say, "if you consciously focus on changing the way that you think in this way, then you will be happier and more successful." When they get into all this "golden thread" and "prophets, seers, and sages" stuff, I start to shut it out because it's all fluff designed to make you keep reading, when in fact the secret is very simple. I have been taking some notes to kind of separate the fluff from the fact, and here is what I have come up with.
This book is all about how you think-- You are the master of your own thoughts. If you make the thing you want the central focus and eliminate all the bad things from your thoughts, you will find happiness.
Like attracts like. This is a very important concept in this program. It's all about getting your brain on a positive wave length. If you think happy thoughts, more happy thoughts will come to you. If you consciously focus on the good, more good feelings will come. Have you ever noticed how negativity is like a chain reaction? When you think one negative thing, it undoubtedly leads to another, and until you break the cycle you keep spiraling downward. Positivity is the same way. If you focus on thinking only positive thoughts, more happiness will come to you.
Thoughts are things. Plain and simple, this is how I firmly believe I got into Cinci. Our focused thoughts become realities. No matter what anyone told me, I stayed constantly focused on acceptance. I saw myself being accepted. I saw myself going there. My thoughts were never negative. I knew I was going to get in. And I never second guessed that feeling.
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